


A Very Large Box

by alchemise



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016), Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crossover, Extra Treat, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-15
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-13 10:19:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13568523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alchemise/pseuds/alchemise
Summary: Here's the thing about trying to fix the bits of the universe that have gone out of whack: you meet the oddest people along the way.





	A Very Large Box

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spokenitalics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spokenitalics/gifts).



Dirk was running for his life. Again.

That part wasn't nearly as unusual as he would like it to be.

What was rather strange was that it was a literal angry mob chasing him. With pitchforks, even. It was _not_ his fault. There had just been this whole thing, with a lake missing all its fish, after it had turned orange, which had driven away the tourists right in the middle of peak tourist season, which led to the town mayor (who was up for reelection) getting involved in what appeared to be dark magic, which had started a witchhunt, which led to the previous angry mob.

And all the fingers pointed at Dirk. Which, yes okay, the lake had turned orange right after he fell into it (from a small airplane that he had woken up alone in and then promptly jumped out of before it crashed directly into the statue of the town founder—an Elmore Scuttlebutt, explorer and shoe maker—all of which was probably also responsible for sending the tourists scurrying). But it was not his fault.

Anyway, running for his life now.

Up ahead, Dirk noticed there seemed to be a blue box in the middle of a field. It looked, strangely enough, like an old fashioned British police box. A little out of place in the middle of a field in… well, actually Dirk wasn't really sure where this place was. Still, not a place with an abundance of police boxes.

But the mob was gaining and beggars couldn't be choosers, do Dirk made a bee-line for the box. Hopefully it had a sturdy door and could maybe buy him some time for the mob to cool off before they could break it down.

 

* * *

 

The Doctor had not noticed the approaching mob and one rather unusual man slightly ahead of them, as he was messing about underneath the TARDIS's controls, instead of looking up at the security monitor. Just as he thought he'd found the glitch in the wiring that he was uncomfortably sure was responsible for turning the nearby lake orange when he'd arrived a few days ago, the door suddenly opened and the man burst through. The man turned around and closed the door, then turned back toward the Doctor and stared.

The Doctor blinked and stammered, "What?"

"Hello."

"How did you did get in here?"

"I opened the door."

"Where did you come from?"

"Out there. Those people _really_ do not like me."

"But _who_ are you?"

"Dirk Gently. Holistic detective."

"What?"

"This is a very large box. Much roomier than I was expecting. It's really very nice. All gold and... glowy. Who are you?"

The Doctor paused. The TARDIS had let the man, Dirk, waltz right in, and the TARDIS was very rarely wrong about someone. That was good enough for now. "Hello. I'm the Doctor. Thank you, yes, it is rather roomy. And gold. And glowy, I suppose. Welcome to the TARDIS."

"The _TARDIS_? Oh, that sounds interesting, whatever it means. You must be the key to my case. I think we're supposed to save this town from a spell or something. Or maybe just fix their lake. I don't know yet. But the universe sent me here for a reason. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon." Dirk grinned excitedly. He seemed to do everything excitedly.

The Doctor had no clue what was happening, but that was pretty much par for the course. If the universe had, in fact, sent Dirk here, so be it. "You're right about saving the town. That's why I'm here too. Except it's not a spell; it's alien technology that's mucked everything up and made people act this way. It seems like we're connected somehow and you're going to help me stop all this."

Dirk's grin got even wider, like being chased by an angry mob and ending up in a time machine was the best thing that could have happened to him. "That sounds _amazing_."


End file.
